Hilarious “dos and don’ts of photography” list

Don’t: Cyanotypes and Cross-processing Both of these are Alternative Processes, which is a required course in most college photo programs. It’s like forcing a painting class to forage for their pigments amid nuts and flowers. “Alternative” means experimenting with the flexibility of the print-film process or something. Cyanotypes are all blue and splotchy. Cross-processing is where the colors are supersaturated, like that movie 21 Grams. Like using filters in Photoshop, it always looks bad.

Don’ts: Cell-phone Cameras, Cindy Sherman, Closeups, Crooked framing, saying “Cheese”

Dos: Color, Cinematographers, Collages, Cartes de visite (small portraits, about the size of a business card, popular during the 1860s)

If the author is serious, [s]he is a complete wanker, but ironic or not, the whole list is funny as hell. Read it at Viceland.com. ([S]/He is also wrong. Cross processing can yield muted pastel or black and white as well as saturated palettes, and cyanotypes are usually blue but can be toned to a variety of non-blue colors and are only splotchy if you make them that way.)

My dos and don’ts are: do shoot however you want to and don’t let anybody tell you different.